Many have asked me if it really does matter and how much. You meet someone and it’s like you were hit by train. We’ve all been there and felt like that’s it, this is THE ONE. The men I’ve polled usually judge a woman’s date-ability by how physically attracted they feel on the first date. Most women will be interested in what’s behind that handsome face. These are essential components for a lasting relationship. ) I coached Lori to stop allowing men to treat her poorly. Chemistry is about looks and body type, but it’s more of a gestalt thing. She needed to recognize selfish men and not go anywhere near them. Do you need INSTANT chemistry, no, not necessarily. If they don’t feel it then they’ll discount the person completely. I have met only a few people who I’ve had instant chemistry with and I thought for sure that they would be a long term item in my life, but, as it happened, chemistry wasn’t enough. The opposite is true, I’ve had some great relationships with people I didn’t feel instant chemistry with. Some guys I just “didn’t feel it” the first date, but I was still interested so I gave it a couple more dates and we definitely had something good and built some chemistry as we went along. Good relationships are the product of building a solid foundation of trust, love, honesty, respect, consideration, generosity, passion and attraction. Good relationships are two people walking in the same direction, together, side by side. So if people actually made an effort and let go of their unrealistic expectations perhaps there would be more successful relationship out there. I think that if you have attraction and a general interest in the person then I think you should give it a shot. The problem with today’s dating world is that people are looking for that initial spark, the WOW when they first meet someone. R) but we both definitely felt a connection, after a couple of dates it fizzled. Now some people you’ll go out with and they’re a definite NO and that’s OK. You didn’t want to jump their bones but they were an interesting date. Learn More Our psychology instrument profiles your behavioral patterns in four well-researched dimensions of relationships.Your results, will enlighten you as to how you match with your partner whose results may differ on some factors and perhaps overlap on others.
In both cases it didn’t translate into a lasting relationship … Everything else is the pretty packaging, including instant chemistry. Instant chemistry is all about the other person’s charisma and, of course, attraction. I think relationship success is two people who want to make it work. I was reading recently that a lot of arranged marriages end up more successful and fulfilling than traditional arrangements. It’s because they know they need to make it work so they do. I felt like I was hit by a meteor and I seriously thought I was going to pass out. I went on a date a couple months ago with a someone who I also had crazy chemistry with (not as much as Mr. Don’t fool yourself and don’t give up those potentially great people just because they didn’t blow you away the first date. The first time we spoke was incredible, we both felt it. But, that didn’t translate into a relationship unfortunately. It certainly isn’t a guarantee of relationship success. Which is more important in a relationship: chemistry or compatibility? Do men and women have different standards for chemistry and compatibility? In my experience as a dating coach, most women will give men a chance (or two or three), unless they are totally turned off on a first date. In online dating, a woman’s profile picture is the first and most important way to get a man’s attention. A nice face is attractive, but a nice guy is a keeper.
The majority of women in my practice are interested in an emotional and intellectual compatibility first and a physical compatibility/chemistry second. Again, men seem to place much more emphasis on a woman’s looks than her profile essay. Compatibility is based on common values and life goals, a high level of comfort with each other, shared experiences and the ability to have fun with each other. My question for you is: If the tables were turned, how many men would give an overweight, semi-attractive woman a chance?
A person with moderately good looks can be irresistibly attractive if he/she has a great personality. She had to stop doing so much for men in order to be able to receive their love.